This Is It For Now
by Black21Jack
Summary: I hate goodbyes. Even for shadowhunters, goodbyes are just too painful.


**A/N: Hey guys and greatest fans of TMI. It's been a week since I last posted and this might be the last of my one-shot before I start with my story. Don't worry, I've written some parts of them and I know where I'm going to take it but it'll be posted only after my exam which is in December. Until then, you won't be reading me for at least 4 months but I hope some readers out there hold on to my words. :)**

**Hope you enjoy reading and have a wonderful day and more to come! :) **

DON'T SAY GOODBYE

"Jace, are you busy?" Alec asked his parabatai who was plopped on a couch. He carefully shut the library door closed and walked to the blonde.

"Not really. Unless you count texting Clary as busy." Jace said while his eyes were still focused on his phone. Alec sat on the couch opposite Jace. His eyes never left his other half.

"I want to ask you something."

"What is it?" Jace quirked up an eyebrow but he wasn't looking at his brother. There was silence for a moment. Alec didn't answer him straight away.

"What is it you want to ask me?" Jace asked again. Still, the dark-haired kept silent. Minutes past and Alec didn't say anything. He kept his eyes on the blonde but Jace wasn't looking elsewhere than his phone.

"Do you love her?" Alec finally spoke.

"Who? Clary? Of course I do. I'm currently texting her." A smile formed on Jace's face.

"Do you love Izzy?"

"Yes, she's our dear sister." Still, his head was down.

"Did you love Max?" This question somehow got Jace's attention but only a little. His head jerked up but he wasn't looking at his parabatai.

"Very much like my own brother." He brought his eyes back to his phone.

"Do you love Maryse and Robert?" Alec's voice was low and quieter.

"As my parents, yes. As themselves, not really."

"Do you love me?" He didn't get to hear the answer because at that moment Jace's phone rang. He answered it at the second ring.

"Hey Clary-bear, what is it? Yeah, sure. I'm in the library. See you." He removed his phone from his ear and shut it.

"Clary's coming over. She said she needed some training and she's bringing Simon along." Jace waited for a reply from Alec but no sound came from the other guy. When Jace brought his head up, he saw an empty couch. Alec wasn't in the library anymore.

"Alec?" No answer. He must've left, Jace thought.

* * *

His bedroom door omitted a creaking sound as it was pushed open. He looked over and saw it was Alec. He looked different tonight. Something was off about him but Jace couldn't catch what it was.

"Jace, are you busy?" Again, the same question came out from Alec's mouth for the second time that day.

"No. What is it? A demon?" He felt a sudden rush in his blood. Jace always gets excited when it comes to demon hunt.

"No. Can I come in?" He notices that Alec wasn't being himself. He'd never asked to enter Jace's room or the other way around.

"Yeah, sure," Jace was sitting on his bed, his legs curled underneath him. Alec closed the door and walked to the window. He sat at the window and put his legs up to balance his body. He wasn't facing Jace.

"What is it Alec? Is something bothering you? Did you fight with Magnus?" His parabatai didn't move and his eyes were glued to the night sky.

"Why did you choose me as your parabatai, Jace?" Jace was shocked for a moment but then he relaxed. He'd never asked himself that question before. Why did he choose Alec?

"Why do you think?" Jace asked him back.

"I don't know." He sounded sincere.

"Why did you agree to be mine, Alec?" Finally, Alec turned and Jace saw something in his brother's eyes. It was the same blue but something was different. And still, Jace couldn't figured out what.

"I don't know." Lie. It was a lie. Alec never do something without thinking.

"I guess we're both at sin." Jace was joking but Alec didn't laugh. He'd turned his head facing the window again and this time Jace could clearly see the blue eyes glimmering. It was stormy by the look of it but Alec wasn't crying. His expression was peaceful.

"Jace, you want to know something?"

"What is it Alec?" Jace saw his parabatai's mouth moved but he couldn't get the words he said. He blinks his eyes a few times and when he looked at the window, Alec was gone.

* * *

"Alec, can you hear me?" Jace was slapping Alec's bloodied cheek lightly. The blood wasn't Alec's, it was Jace's. The blue-eyed boy had lost his consciousness for about three minutes and Jace had yet managed to wake him up.

"By the angel, wake up Alec." He was shaking him by the shoulder and yet no responds came from the dark-haired.

"Alec? Alec, please wake up. You're scaring me, Alec." A minute passed and Alec didn't move. Jace was starting to feel tears behind his eyes. Alec wasn't injured, he'd checked the older boy's body and limbs. No scars or wounds. It looked like he was sleeping if Jace didn't know better. His chest wasn't rising and moving the way it should. In fact, he wasn't breathing at all.

"No, no Alec. Stay with me, please stay with me. Don't you dare let go. Alec please...Please open your eyes." He didn't. His body was cold by the time the others got to them. Jace didn't let go of his parabatai. Not even a moment did he took his hands away from his parabatai's fingers.

* * *

Jace was sitting in Alec's room. He was perched at the window. Suddenly, he heard his brother's voice.

" Jace, what are you doing in my room?" Alec sounded irritated but Jace didn't look at him.

"Alright, tell me what's wrong. Is it Clary? Or Izzy? Or Simon?" Wrong. Wrong and wrong. Alec never thought that he could be the cause to Jace's misery.

"It's you. You left me." There was silence before Alec answered.

" I never left you, Jace. You know that."

"You let go."

"I had to. It was time for me to let go."

"Then what am I suppose to hold on to now you're gone?"

"The others. You still have Izzy, Clary and Simon. Magnus won't go away as far as I know."

"But I want you. You're my other half."

" And you're mine. Do you have the answers to my questions yet?"

"Yes." Jace stared at the sky. He knew if he looked to the source where the voice was coming from it would vanish.

"And what is your answer?"

"I chose you because there's no other Alexander Lightwood that I know or will ever knew. I chose you for you are who I claimed to be; a warrior. I chose you because you chose me. Is that enough?" He waited for the reply. After a long moment, he thought it was gone. He let out a sigh when he heard the voice again. Alec's voice.

"That I've always knew. I mean the first one. The other one that I asked."

"Do I love you, Alec?" Jace closed his eyes for a second before showing the bright golden orbs laminated by the lights from the sun.

"Always. And you?"

"As you are." He could feel the voice retreating and he wanted it to stay.

"Do you have to go? Can you take me with you?"

"Your time will come and I'll be waiting for you. So don't say farewell nor goodbyes. Because it really isn't. I'll see you Jace." And it was gone. Jace was alone again. He touched his collarbone knowing that the rune connecting him to his parabatai was there. Although the once-black rune had turned silver, it still felt like it was beating, thumping and alive in Jace's heart.

"You never told me what you said that night, Alec." Jace closes his eyes and laid his head on the window frame.

_I've always knew that I would die for you even if it means leaving behind everything I have. _

Maple

**Feeling confused? Not sure what's this about? Or just...I don't know. Either way, leave a review if you want further explanation. Although I can't promise I'll reply. Well, this is it ,for now. Happy exam! Wish me luck :)**


End file.
